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I’ve been following (to a limited degree) the Radical Feminist (RadFem) vs. Sex-positive Feminist (sex-pos)discussion for a bit. It’s an interesting bit of society, especially given my position as a Christian Housewife.
The Rad-fems have real issues with the sex-pos camp. Mainly (as well as I can glean) that the sex-pos folks are perpetuating the stereotype of women as toys and property, due to the objectification through pornography and strippers. I mean, you don’t look at strippers because of their minds. The sex-pos folks say that it’s their bodies and they can do as they damn well please with them. The Rad-fems believe it is every womans responsibility to look out for other women, and to shove our culture in a direction that views women as equals to men. Unfortunately that implies that any woman who isn’t a Rad-Fem is in need of shoving, preferably by a Rad-Fem.
Well ok. I can see both points. Honestly, if I had the ability to pole dance I would. I’ve always thought exotic dancing was phenomenally sexy and looked like a whole lot of fun. I also think the ability to make men bark and act foolish is a certain form of power in it’s own right. I think pornography has it’s place, and like potato chips or muscle cars, can be distracting to the point of causing a person to fall. Any obsession is dangerous.
TO assume that a man is reduced to animal-like behavior by sexually charged material is to denigrate the man. Not all men fall to their knees and drool at the sight of Barbie in a thong, and those that do are (in my experience) held in contempt by those that don’t.
That’s not to say I like pornography. I don’t. Frankly, I feel polluted after I’ve seen it. I don’t like slasher movies or anything with Adam Sandler in it either. However, I can totally see how someone would become aroused by watching porn. I can see how someone like me (middle aged housewife) could use it as a means for fresh ideas in the bedroom. I’ve considered it, but I am too concerned with seeing the things I DON’T want to see to be willing to risk it in order to get to the stuff I could use. I just don’t want it in my mind, to rattle around for years and raise it’s head at the most inopportune moments (like Communion, or while kneading bread).
I still can’t get the fisting scene from Caligula out of my head. Most of the time, no problem, then BOOM there it is, Whats-his-name-Sutherland with a handful of lard.
Maybe other folks don’t have that problem, but my memory is too crisp and too random to allow me to be cavalier about what goes in.
Anyway, back to the rad-fems and all. They believe what they believe very strongly, and with great coherence to their arguments. Howver, enough of them become strident and catty with their remarks as to discredit themselves. Seriously, when someone starts calling names, I assume they don’t know what they are talking about and have to resort to 7th grade restroom tactics “XX is a SLUT” and “YY is a STUPID SLUT”. They totally discredit themselves in my eyes.
I have the great privilege of belonging to a demographic both sides have utterly forgotten about: White, Middle class, Christian housewife. In general, I’m ok with that. My mandate as a WMcChHw is to take care of my own, and when that’s done I worry about the rest. I don’t feel the urge to march with my tiny fist raised in defiance to the Patriarchy, because I, being who I am, am an equally yoked partner with the Patriarchy. I don’t feel any oppression. I feel great privilege and honor to be able to do what I do. I don’t want to defy him. I love him. He loves me. I sacrifice for him. He sacrifices for me. No oppression there.
I remember being in the 10th grade, and we took these career apptitude tests. It was determined that I was suited for a career in medicine or some kind of science/research thing. My teachers cheered, those 1980 Gloria Steinem Feminists. I was going to be Important and Cure People and Stuff. Then one actually bothered to ask me what I wanted to do. “Housewife and mother” I replied and you’da thought someone just shot Mother Earth. NOOOOOOOOO! they howled.YOU’RE WASTING YOUR INTELLECT! YOU’RE SACRIFICING YOURSELF ON THE ALTAR OF THE PATRIARCHY! They were very shrill in their disapproval. Which only cemented my resolve. My mother did it. I can do it.
See, even then, I thought the whole idea behind feminism was choice. Prior to the movement, women didn’t have a choice. They were expected to stay home, and divorcee’s were Bad. I thought feminism was about options. It turns out it was, as long as the option you chose was acceptable to the Matriarchy. And Housewifery wasn’t on the list.
So, I dropped under the radar and did what I felt was best. I found a man who shared the same world view, and we’ve spent the last 20 years propping each other up and helping each other shoulder the burdens.
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Malcom MacDonald with his handful of lard.
And Caligula isn’t por…
Yeah. It was. I saw the director’s cut version, and even I was semi-shocked at what they could show in movie theaters.
Not that I object to pornography – it was like when I heard them say “asshole” on Drawn Together and my jaw hit the floor. I think profanity and pornography have their place, but we’ve been so puritanized that when it pops up semi-unexpectedly, we have a reaction. And personally, I’m shocked that I have a reaction, being so jaded and all…
Comment by SuperBee September 29, 2006 @ 8:14 amok yeh…whatever his name was
It was an interesting movie, unfortunately the only bits I remember are the naughty ones.
haw…the word verification thingy sez “prruud”
Comment by Rootietoot September 29, 2006 @ 10:41 amMcDowell. Malcom McDowell.
Comment by Rootietoot September 29, 2006 @ 11:16 am::DOH!::
How stupid of me. McDowell.
Comment by SuperBee September 29, 2006 @ 12:58 pmhonestly, I think it is right and good when we are shocked. I mean, if nothing shocks us, then there are no boundaries to behavior. It is right to be shocked by bestiality, or pedophilia, or cannibalism. If we aren’t, then it validates the behaviors. I am shocked when I see a 7 year old girl with “juicy” plastered on her arse, then I am dismayed and angered. Some things shouldn’t be. Anytime innocence is violated, we should be shocked. That’s why we don’t let our 7 yr old rent “Debbie Does Dallas”. Even if it could be, arguably, educational.
Comment by Rootietoot September 29, 2006 @ 1:49 pmShock keeps us…I dunno…decent.
Caligula’s porn, but the consensus as I understand it is that it’s pretty foul in its attitudes, compared to your much blander “mainstream” porn, at least the Playboy and even Penthouse ilk. i suppose I should watch it one of these days, for research’s sake if nothing else.
My problem with “shock” is, I think it can be prurient in itself. ooh, look, ain’t it awful. But, you know, if you keep looking and looking and never get past “ooh, that’s really, I mean REALLY horrible,” then, well?
Just in general I have issues with “shock tactics” in terms of I don’t know, you know, “shock jocks,” “shocking” theatrical productions, whatnot; because I think that they’re gilding the lily, really. Bigger noisier ruder nastier more “politically incorrect,” whatever. Because the other thing about “shock” is, actually people adapt to repeated shocks really quickly. We numb out. And I think we’re all or most of us way WAY overstimulated as it is.
I think the truly radical thing to do, most of the time, frankly is s l o o w the hell down
and just: listen.
Anybody can shout and make noise and flash their naughty bits and say and do terrible antisocial things, after all. That’s easy. And eventually, it’s boring.
>the word verification thingy sez “prruud
!!!
double !!!! mine is okryt
Comment by belledame222 October 1, 2006 @ 8:52 am>I mean, you don’t look at strippers because of their minds.
What bothers me about this is that the general assumption, from a lot of feminists, even radical ones, too, yes, I do pick this up is: you cannot be “conventionally” sexy and also be smart, much less heaven forfend funny or witty.
My own experience shows that this is far from true; and in fact that the “dumb foofy blonde in the miniskirt” stereotype is itself a real product of sexism: it’s simply too threatening to imagine that those high heels might be wielded as a weapon, let alone her razor-sharp tongue.
Yeah, a lot of jerks are gonna believe that anyway; to my mind, the best way around this is to simply live in sheer defiance of the stereotype, as many people I know do. Scolding at other women who dress in stereotypical “femme” ways for “making us all look bad,” as a popular “radical” feminist blogger did recently, to my mind helps: not at all. Besides being incredibly annoying, I mean. Instead of picking at other women, (she said, now mentally addressing said R.F.B.) how about coming to their defense every once in a while? How about getting off that high horse and noticing that actually, maybe that “sexbot” you keep mocking (excuse me, “examining”) -does- have a brain? Possibly even a better working one than yours? ooh, burn.
Of course, plenty of non-feminist women and men do the same damn thing, much more so, even; which is exactly why I have a problem with that particular person styling herself a -radical- feminist, no less; to my mind she’s deeply reactionary, in fact. It’s not that she’s so much worse than everyone else in her sexism; it’s that she’s making claims that she -knows better.- Is a revolutionary, even. It annoys.
Comment by belledame222 October 1, 2006 @ 11:12 am