Filed under: Uncategorized
hopped in a car and made a cross country trip.
had a roomate. (I lived at home until I got married)
.
eaten a raw oyster. (they look like ox boogers, I can’t imagine anyone eating one intentionally)
had sex in the back of a car. (Ridiculous! unles you have a ’58 Nomad)
shot anyone.
gutted a fish. (ick)
gotten publically drunk.
punched anyone in the nose.
eaten horsemeat.
sat still for more than 30 minutes.
intentionally dyed my hair red. (there was that time the box said ‘golden blond’ and was more like ‘cantalope orange’, but that only lasted about 30 minutes, until SD could rescue me with a box of Dark Ash Blond)
hit a golf ball more than about 50 yards.
flirted with a girl.
gone noodling for catfish.(This is a redneck pastime, where one gets in the murky lake water and sticks one’s hand into the hidey-holes along the bank, the same holes that water moccasins frequent, and feels around for a catfish. You know, that fish with the sharp and poisonous barbs that look like cat whiskers. They do it for drunken amusement, and their motto is “if you ain’t bleeding, you ain’t doin’ it right.)
read a playboy (or girl).
seen a porn web site on purpose. (I’ve seen them when going through the history after my kids have used the computer, and it is most satisfying to loudly and publically ask them why some strange woman’s cooter is so interesting, and would they like it if I posted pictures of mine for the world to see, and if they don’t like me talking in this loud and public way about it perhaps they should reconsider visiting those sites.)
eaten an octopus. (I’ve had jellyfish, squid,sea cucumber, mountain oyster on a dare, and several other esoteric foods.)
gone skydiving. (I can’t. My orthopedist specifically forbids it, on the grounds that my hip will shatter into a million peices and he won’t be responsible for that)
gone skiing, neither snow nor water. See explanation above.
played Super Mario Cart. (Just watching my kids play it gives me motion sickness)
worn a formal dress. (I never went to Prom, no formal events during college, even my wedding was informal)
learned to like Ouzo.
